Raising Confident Voices: Teaching Kids to Stand Boldly in Who They Are

Character Building Blog Series – Entry #7

Not long ago, I was in a mood. You know the kind—the day had been heavy, my patience was low, and I just needed a moment of peace.

That’s when my son came in.

He often asks the same question over and over, and I’d already told him many times:“The more you ask, the more no the answer becomes.”

So, this time, as he approached, I was already gearing up to shut the conversation down.

But what he said caught me off guard.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry for asking so many times,” he said gently.“I’ll be patient while you think about it.”

In that moment, I realized he wasn’t trying to be difficult. He wasn’t demanding anything. He simply wanted to be heard—and to let me know he was willing to wait, not because he didn’t care, but because he did.

What Our Kids Need Most Is To Be Heard

As adults, it’s so easy to respond with authority, with impatience, with control. We want our children to listen—to obey, to comply, to accept our “no” without challenge.

But how often do we stop to consider their intentions, feelings, or perspective?

Children are not just small people. They are whole people—with thoughts, desires, and meaningful ideas. When we shut them down without truly listening, we teach them not just to obey, but to doubt themselves.

That’s why this week’s focus is on Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood®, from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”— Stephen R. Covey

When we model empathetic listening, we’re doing more than diffusing conflict—we’re building confidence, self-awareness, and respect in our children.

The Cost of Dismissing Their Voice

Every time a child is silenced, ignored, or dismissed, something subtle begins to happen:

• They question their instincts.

• They doubt whether their needs or ideas matter.

• They begin to shrink—not out of humility, but out of fear.

Eventually, they stop standing up for what they believe in because they’ve been trained to avoid conflict, avoid rejection, avoid being misunderstood.

But as the old saying goes:

“If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for anything.”

How to Build Unshakable Confidence

At PTKC, we believe confidence is not just encouraged—it’s taught. We help students know:

• They are allowed to speak up

• Their feelings and thoughts are valid

• Their “no” means something

• They don’t need to shrink to be accepted

Here’s how you can help reinforce that at home:

1. Listen All the Way Through

Before responding, let your child speak until they’re done. Ask questions instead of assuming their intent.

2. Affirm Their Perspective

You don’t have to agree to acknowledge. Try saying,

“I see where you’re coming from.”“That’s a thoughtful point.”“I can tell you’ve been thinking about this.”

3. Encourage Calm Assertiveness

Teach them it’s okay to ask for what they need, even when it’s hard—and that how they ask matters just as much as what they ask for.

4. Be Honest About Your Own Emotions

Say things like,

“I’m having a tough day, and I may be a little short. I’m sorry.”This teaches humility, self-regulation, and respect.

We’re Not Just Raising Rule-Followers. We’re Raising Leaders.

The world doesn’t need more kids who can recite answers. The world needs courageous, emotionally intelligent leaders—young people who know what they believe, and stand on it with strength and grace.

Confidence doesn’t come from being constantly praised. It comes from being seen, heard, and respected—even when they’re still growing.

At PTKC, that’s what we do. We listen. We affirm. We correct with love. And we build students who aren’t afraid to speak up—because they know their voice matters.

Let’s raise children who stand for something—so they never fall for anything.